近半年以来一直很疲惫

最近这半年以来,一直都非常的疲惫,好像所有的激情都耗光了一样,心非常疲惫.什么事情也提不起兴致来.目标很宏大,但是总好像有心无力的感觉.

是不是给自己的压力太大了?按说,我没有任何经济压力或家庭压力,和Teddy的感情也越来越好,但是总觉得疲惫.也需我想做的事情太多??自己都不信了?

我想进行一个自我修复的疗程,从今天开始,从现在开始.

半眼

一直都觉得菩萨的眼睛很迷人,半闭不闭,半睁不睁,让整个表情异常的慈悲和平和.这几天看了禅意生活这本小书才清楚原来这叫半眼,一半看内心,一般看世界.

正常我们的眼睛都是全睁的,看的都是外面的世界,对自己内心的小世界很少有所关注.因此,越往外看,越难了解自己.而半眼则不然,看得外界很有限,只看周围和自己有关的外界,一部分更远的外界视角完全舍弃了,而留下的一半精力却能很好的审视自己的内心.

也许,我当前的疲惫完全来源于我对外面的世界过于关注了,看这世界太纷乱,诱惑太多,欲望太多,不仅没有精力去审视自己,反而让自己更加迷失了自己.我每天晚上8点钟,是最烦燥的时候,也是最浮躁的时候,从天涯逛到安家,再逛到自己欲望最深处,内心一刻未曾安宁,这样一逛下来就是12点,不仅让自己身体更加疲惫,精神状态也一样萎靡不振.

所以,每天晚上8点半以后我要改变自己,这2个小时,要养成每天审视自己的习惯,抄写经书,让自己安静下来,身心都得到好的调养.对于手上的事情,只要虔诚的做好每一件事情就好,不必在意结果.我做到过一次,变不可能为可能,这一次就是我考研的时候,之后,我一直都是失败的,其原因就是我的功利之心太强了,没有踏踏实实的耕耘却要求好的收获.这一次,我相信自己能够改变自己,也能够做好这些事情.

写好了以后,内心居然就这样缓缓地平和下来,手上的事情也变得清晰了很多.:)也需这3年对我的意义将是非常大的,注定将比我平静无波澜的生活要丰富多彩的多:))

出发

今天开始认真抄心经,打算每天晚上8点半开始.沐浴,样本采用王羲之的心经字帖,这就去买笔墨纸砚去.晚上持续更新.

Denny Crane Wisdom

''Edwin Poole's problem is he doesn't like being Edwin Poole. From time to time he'd look in the mirror and ask, 'What's the point?' I never do that. Questions like that'll kill you.''

''There's a difference in being an ass and being effective. When you win, they say you're effective. When you lose, which I never do, they call you an ass.''

''You hear the one about the fella who died, went to the pearly gates? St. Peter lets him in. Sees a guy in a suit making a closing argument. Says 'Who's that?' St. Peter says, 'Oh, that's God. Thinks he's Denny Crane.''

''Canada. Japan. England. Any number of those pinko countries, I'd be in jail for shooting somebody''

Here's a tip my friend. Never, ever talk about anything to do with the environment. Makes you boring. Second, it's political. You gotta figure half the people are against you.

This is not a meaningful life! Practicing law, drinking scotch at nine o'clock in the morning. Nine o'clock scotch is meaningful, but practicing law, making money, settling petty disputes...

''I realized the truth about myself. I just love power.''

''We're talking juries. It always comes down to simple. And, I mean, there's nobody simpler than me.''

''Your fifteen minutes are almost up. Mine has lasted a lifetime.''

''Wow. Big day. Even for Denny Crane.''

''The only thing to be scared of, son, is tomorrow. I don't live for tomorrow. Never saw the fun in it.''

''I may not be the Denny Crane I once was, but until today I didn't realize that this Denny Crane might be even better.''

Bill Gates 夢想語錄

夢想 價值 0 元, 每個人都可以擁有, 但卻是每個 無價 的開始..

抖抖灰，重新开博

   最近一年来一直都在msn上面更新，熟人那么多的地方，要写技术的话，实在是犯众怒，so.本blog重新开张，目的主要用做技术用途，不过近一年来主要用的Java,所以只能在对不起cnblog了，在这边慢慢搞一个菜鸟java吧。并非我骑墙，而是工作需要。呵呵。争取每天有所技术感悟。每日积累就好。

springSide 开始之旅

给自己几年的时间，下定决心做一个合格的java developer.
Spring Side学习目的：
1. Java Best practice.
2.Java language learning.
足以。